When I was a little girl, (not too long ago, sometimes I fell like I was a little innocent girl just 10min back.... :) ) Everything seemed in a very different way. The terms which I normally use like happy, joy, laughter, life, hope, forgiveness, sorrow, guilt, right, wrong, god (above all) were all perceived in a very vivid and a beautiful way....
Words that appeared nice and beautiful then, now seem to seep and fade and almost disappear within its own frame of existence (not that the definitions of these terms have changed for me, but the way in which I am learning to percieve them are gradually changing....)
As I grow up every minute of the day, situations DEMAND me to speculate every aspect of my existence through my deepest eye.... now the meanings of each term I used then hold a change, perceptions change, assumptions becomes real and suprisingly real becomes an assumption....!!
Eventually life makes a FOOL out of me for I demand a further speculation of what appears before my eyes.... I begin to dissolve myself in-between the CONSIDERED tasks that life holds for me.... not that I have no other option....!! It's just that option's have become like an easy escapist.... So I rather keep reminding myself that it's a phase of speculation or rather a prolonged speculation which has no place for an escapist....!!!!
If I am CHOSEN as a medium to endure this speculation, I rather begin to enjoy the process of it.... Things gradually change.... The terms which earlier brought me a heart ache, now eases me down with pleasure....
No longer do I find myself searching a reason for my existence but I begin to reason out my existence through the way I am chosen to be represented by the play of time....!!!!
:)
